Woman writes book on her ' murderer' — cancer

Woman writes book on her ' murderer' — cancer

CHAMPAIGN — Every three months, Jennifer Smith undergoes a new scan that will give her an update on a disease she calls her "own murderer."

She's talked to her 6-year-old son about death, written her own obituary and made arrangements for her ashes.

And now, in a new book, "What you Might not Know: My life as a Stage IV Cancer Patient," Smith has shared the raw reality of what life is like for a woman living with stage four metastatic breast cancer.

This book was written as a follow-up to her first book, "Learning to Live Legendary," says Smith, 36, of Champaign, and a former student services counselor at Parkland College.

The first book was a thank-you to people who helped her "truly live" with a terminal diagnosis, but she later thought it might have misled people a bit about the reality of living with a terminal illness.

Smith was first diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer when she was 30.

She underwent surgery and treatments, but at her first scan in 2008 she learned the cancer had recurred in her breast and spread to her bones, and her diagnosis shifted to stage 4 cancer.

Since then, she's been on some form of treatment — including 17 different kinds of chemotherapy — Smith says.

With cancer currently in her bones and liver, she's never been in remission, she says.

"Our best hope is to slow it down and buy me some time," she adds.

In her new book, Smith writes about the anxieties before each three-month scan, and the need to create special memories now with her son.

Some moms want to go to spas for mother's day, she says, but she just wants to have fun with her son, Corbin. Mother and son just took their fifth Mother's Day trip to an amusement park, with this year's destination King's Island in Ohio.

There are chapters about grieving, believing, celebrating, coping, understanding and educating, and one called "pink-washing" focuses on the realities behind pink ribbon campaigns for breast cancer.

Friends and family members also share some reflections in this book, and Smith closes it with her "top 10" list of cancer charities "that don't have million-dollar marketing budgets" that she believes are worth supporting.

Smith says she's been preparing her son for the end of her life by sharing with him her deep faith and belief in God and heaven and the importance of living each day.

"I know once I'm in heaven, I won't want to come back," she says.

Don't tell Smith she's "battling" or "fighting" cancer, because that term doesn't fit her, she says, and she especially doesn't like the notion that dying means she lost a battle.

"Fighting and losing make it sound like I didn't do everything I could," she said.

The cover and interior layout the book were created by a Parkland College typographical class, and the picture of Smith on the cover shows her only from the shoulders down.

"I don't want my face to be the face of metastatic breast cancer," she said.

The book was written with help from Teri Fuller, an English professor and breast cancer survivor and patient advocate. It will be launched at the following four locations this month:

— 7-9 p.m. May 24 at Cream & Flutter, 114 N. Walnut St., C, featuring sparkling rose and mini cupcakes.

— 9-11 a.m. May 25 at Stephen's Family YMCA, 2501 Fields South Drive, C.

— 4-6 p.m. May 25 at Meatheads Burgers and Fries, 1305 S. Neil St., C.

— 9-11 a.m. May 26 at Faith United Methodist Church, 1719 S. Prospect Ave., C.

Sections (2):News, Local
Topics (2):Health Care, People

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
ROB McCOLLEY wrote on May 18, 2013 at 7:05 am
Profile Picture

I don't generally subscribe to afterlife theories. But assuming there is a good place to go, and that this place is selective in its admissions, I'd say Jen Smith has earned entry.

rsp wrote on May 18, 2013 at 8:05 am

Beautiful book cover. I hate seeing obits that say someone "lost their battle". We all die, young and old. We like to think someone died too soon but we don't know how long they were meant to live. They lived their whole life. 

Marti Wilkinson wrote on May 18, 2013 at 11:05 am

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35, and I was incredibly lucky that it was caught at an early stage. For many women under the age of 40, the diagnosis is often made at a later stage, and the survival rates are much lower. Plus, a lot of the research that is done is geared towards women over the age of 40.

My diagnosis also occurred before my daughters 11th birthday, and they didn't have resources for kids who had parents undergoing cancer treatments. Since then, a local support group for younger women has started up, and I'm glad to see it. The big challenge for me was not knowing anyone else my age who was trying to work full time and raise a child, while undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

I haven't had the opportunity to read the book, so I can't review it. However, I applaud Smiths willingness to share her story. It's my hope that her story can help other women who are in the same boat. We do need support and resources available for women who have stage 4 cancer, and I hope that someday we can manage cancer in a manner that is similar ot managing diabetes.

davemoutray wrote on May 24, 2013 at 10:05 pm

Simply amazing story that both breaks my heart and inspires it. I worked briefly with her at Parkland, and what an amazing person -- thoughts and prayers throughout all of this, and can't wait to buy the book.