CHAMPAIGN — There's holiday stress, and then there's holiday stress for people who are family caregivers.

One out of four households includes someone taking on the care of an older family member or friend, according to the Illinois Department on Aging.

If that's you, it may be time to step back, evaluate what's most important to you this time of year in the way of traditions and celebrations and let go of the rest, advises Rosanna McLain, director of the Senior Resource Center at Family Service of Champaign County.

People caring for a sick or aging family member or partner are already under daily life stress, she says, and the holidays can bring even more stress — especially for those with unrealistic expectations of the way things should be for the time they have.

McLain's advice for caregivers:

— Consider whether it's necessary to send Christmas cards. Instead, consider choosing the five people you're closest to and calling or emailing them sometime over the holiday weeks.

— Keep only what's most important in the way of traditions, and skip the rest. (Involve the family in a vote on choosing what's most important.) If it's the lemon cookies that are everybody's favorites, make the lemon cookies.

— Keep the decorating simple.

— Remember most people don't like to feel dependent, so involve the care receiver in a holiday task, such as cookie baking. An elderly mom who can no longer bake may still be able to help place cookies in a container.

— In scheduling celebrations, remember the time of day can make a big difference, especially for those with dementia. Late afternoons are often not a good time to schedule company, and certain medications may make some people tired at other times.

— Don't be too proud to accept help. "If somebody offers you help, it's OK to say yes," McLain says. "Let them get into the spirit of giving, too,"

— Taking care of an aging or sick family member often means money is going to be a bit tighter. If you are the caregiver, don't feel pressured to buy big gifts or offer big meals you can't afford.

For the caregiver and extended family, it might be time to have a family meeting along the lines of "let's spend time together instead of spending money," McLain says.

Here's an idea from McLain for a gift that doesn't cost money and also can involve the caregiver or care receiver — plus it's bound to be treasured by the person who receives it, she says.

Grandparents and parents can write letters to children and grandchildren about what they remember about their growing-up years or what they cherish about their children and grandchildren.

McLain also recalls an absolute treasure of a memory gift she once received from one of her sisters: Her sister once matted some of their mother's recipes for her to hang in her kitchen.

"It all goes back to remembering what you're celebrating," she says.

Holiday tips for those caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease: http://bit.ly/uEVSDO