Joe Paterno had reporters laughing this week. Some snippets:

On the newspaper business:

"I feel bad about the way things have gone with the newspaper business, with the computers (Internet) ... taking away some of the great guys I've known and who wrote well who set a standard for writing. Grantland Rice and those guys. ... I love to read the newspapers. I'd love to read the sports page, but to be very frank with you, I don't because so much of it is you guys (printing stories to keep up with the competition). ... It's a different world and it's not the kind of world that I'm comfortable with."

He concluded, "That's a speech. I usually get 100 bucks for that."

On the polls:

Told that his team is No. 5: "No, don't get me into that. I don't know what we are, for crying out loud. Honest to God, are we No. 5? Is that what you're telling me?"

Later he added, "I don't know that we're No. 5. You guys don't seem to understand. I don't read anything about us. I get the paper. I go to the bathroom. I take the paper in there and I scan it. The first thing I do is look at who died. All right. Second thing I look at are headlines. Something that says, 'Paterno is the Greatest,' I read it. If it says I'm a bum, I don't even look at it."