Tate: Talking turkeys before big day

All hail Thanksgiving! We have so much to be thankful for. Wasn’t it fun watching John Groce’s gang blitz USC in the first half Monday night (hit 12 straight shots), and how about those Unity Rockets.

Bow your heads over this great meal.

But I feel cranky today. Too many football losses. Too much political infighting, to which I say, “No Thanks.”

And no thanks to the Indians, who showed the Pilgrims how to plant tobacco. Look at the trouble it brought Tim Beckman (for that pinch between the lip and gum). Or, just wondering, how do we expect a well-meaning chancellor to police smoking on the Quad?

No thanks for the “golden years.” That must have been dreamed up by some young guy who hasn’t embraced creaky joints and a hearing aid. My recommendation: Watch the conclusion of “The Green Mile” and you’ll understand what it’s like to outlive your classmates. Two Monticello beauties, Virginia Drawhon and Marilyn Cannon, passed last week.

Why does Grandma always put the turkey dressing THERE? Is that supposed to be appetizing? Turkey is fine for a day. Give me a juicy steak the other 364.

No thanks to 6-foot-7 Keita Bates-Diop, prize forward from Normal U-High. He’s the best downstate prospect in the junior class, and he committed early to Groce’s mentor, Thad Matta, at Ohio State. Whitney Young’s 6-10 Jahlil Okafor and 6-9 Paul White are still out there, along with 6-9 Cliff Alexander of Curie. It’s a great class.
 
You’re not going to fool me with that Black Friday sale. No thanks. Mark up 100 percent and make the sale 50 percent off. Let’s compute together. The shirt costs $40, is marked up to $80 and put on sale at half price. This is like Abbott and Costello. We’re right back where we started. Who’s on first? No, he’s on second. Who? Yes.

No thanks to “Moneyball” scouting. Give me a gnarled baseball veteran operating on his instincts any time.

No thanks to the administration’s explanation for stonewalling important issues prior to the election. It doesn’t pass the smell test. But you can’t blame them for delaying explosive reports on Benghazi (Sept. 11!) and Petraeus until the votes were in. Anyway, it’s not a capital offense, and it would have been handled the same way by the Republicans. In basketball, it’s called the stall. In football, the prevent defense. Obama would have won without stonewalling.

Did you see “The Dust Bowl” on WILL-TV? And you think we have it tough these days. Wow! I’ll never think of the Panhandle without that coming to mind.

To another long run of Indiana basketball dominance — get a load of its incoming recruits — I say, “Oh, no, protect the women and children.” Man, do they know how to rub it in. But they’ll miss not having Bruce Weber to kick around.

No thanks for another piece of pumpkin pie. Enough already. Banana cream is preferred, and cherry pie goes better with ice cream. Too bad Michigan’s cherry crop got chilled.

No more golf until next spring. Too windy. Too cold. But it worked for Jeff Trigger. Did you hear about his hole-in-one?

Has the race started yet for the 2016 election? On your mark, get set ... Here’s good news. The president can work full time without campaigning. The same can’t be said for Hillary.

Color me confused. Rivals listed the new Illini basketball class No. 10, and Scout came in at No. 22. Who are we supposed to believe?

No thanks on making a wish and trying to get the long piece of the wishbone. I won before and my wishes never came true.

Area high schools aren’t doing anyone a favor in these conference changes. I’m still trying to distinguish Big Ten’s Legends from Leaders after the commissioner denied my recommendation of rival time zones ... and now that will change with Maryland and Rutgers joining the conference. By the way, no thanks for that.

No thanks to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg for trying to ban sugary junk food. Big Brother insists I wear a seat belt, demands stupid helmets to ride a bike and won’t let me consume secondary smoke in my favorite bar. OK, OK, but when it comes to Snickers and Milky Ways, lay off. I haven’t gained 10 pounds in 40 years.

A better view of the basketball court would be nice, but $160 million to update the Assembly Hall? No, no thank you. Isn’t the Horseshoe overdue for help?

No thanks for the coming winter. Where’s the fun in slip-sliding around in the snow?

Much as I’m fascinated with “dancing nudes,” no thanks to Expressionist painting, pre-Cubists and the masters like Matisse and Van Gogh. Give me a Norman Rockwell illustration, especially on Thanksgiving Day.

No thanks to “turkey trots” around some lake or park. What is invigorating to some is a pain to others. Doesn’t anyone want to save knee cartilage for old age?

Don’t ask me to be optimistic on the future of Illini football. No thanks. Explain, please: What is there about this season that makes anyone think it will be better in 2013? Or 2014? Paint me disillusioned.

Chicago. Thanks for nothing. I wonder how many petition signings it would take?

Loren Tate writes for The News-Gazette. He can be reached at ltate@news-gazette.com.

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calvin wrote on November 21, 2012 at 9:11 am

liked the article, bet some are sharpening their claws getting ready to answer........Happy Thanksgiving Loren....and thanks

Moonpie wrote on November 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

Cranky, condescending, and out of date. He chastises fans for not being blindly obedient and himself tosses Illini football forever under the bus. Now I really hope Beckman can yet turn it around just to show up Moses.

jdstieg wrote on November 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

And Cowpie continues to be repetitive, condescending and stupid.  Good job Loren.

1IlliniFan wrote on November 21, 2012 at 11:11 am

MoonPoop - is stuck in a rut. 

Mr. Tate must have stole his girl back in the day and MP is a bitter man. 

Maybe he should root for another team.

Moonpie wrote on November 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Yes, of course illinifan--when someone disagrees with you they must LEAVE or root for another team because we all know we must think exactly alike. I guess you defend Moses Tate because he's an intolerant conservative and so perhaps that reflects you, too?  If you can't stand to hear any other views but the ones in your head, maybe you should go to a corner and stomp your feet and consider rooting for another team, too.

JDG613 wrote on November 21, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Moonpie - The issue is not that you're disagreeing with the writer, it's that you simply don't like the writer, so you attack HIM, rather than what he WRITES.  It doesn't appear to me that others necessarily disagree with your position on the ISSUE....I, myself, have even agreed with a couple of your statements on the ISSUES.....but I think you are finding that other people don't appreciate it when someone (you or anyone else) simply attacks the PERSON/AUTHOR because of a personal vendetta or just personal dislike.


If Tate said the sky was blue, you'd argue with him and call him juvenile names.  Not too many people are going to support you in such a personal attack.


So maybe try focusing on the issue, not the writer, and you'll face far less retribution and counter-attacks.

illinois52 wrote on November 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

 

Moonpie quit being so damn hypocritical, you say "If you can't stand to hear any other views but the ones in your head, maybe you should go to a corner and stomp your feet and consider rooting for another team, too." That sounds a hell of a lot like you're the one stomping your feet in the corner because you don't agree with Tate. 

 

illinois52 wrote on November 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

 

Moonpie quit being so damn hypocritical, you say "If you can't stand to hear any other views but the ones in your head, maybe you should go to a corner and stomp your feet and consider rooting for another team, too." That sounds a hell of a lot like you're the one stomping your feet in the corner because you don't agree with Tate. 

 

penniless wrote on November 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I'm passing on IU being #1.Want no part of that serving.That is nothing but bull crap, any how.Pass the Illini victory bowl. I'll take a double helping,please.

arch73 wrote on November 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Okay Loren, I'll "color you confused".  Now you seem to think you are a political commentator.  I'l be thankful if you stick to the subject and keep your political thoughts to yourself.

OKOMIS wrote on November 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm

WOW… can anyone understand this mindless dribble?? Time to hang it up and stop embarrassing yourself…

Yukon Chuck wrote on November 22, 2012 at 7:11 am

I'm new to this blog , but Moonpie types are not new.   I know to ignor them and most of the time I do.  Them sometimes I just can not ignor them or i just want to give a little of the crap they give out back.   I'm thankful this day that I'm not married to, worked for a Moonpie type and the number of moonpie's are few and far in between.

I am thankful for John Groce and how he has the team playing and it's not just because we are winning.  It will be interesting how we handle good rebounding, physical and driving teams. 

In 50+ yrs of BB I can not remember seeing softer rims then at Maui. 

rmitchell wrote on November 23, 2012 at 7:11 am

Moonpie;

I actually think your stuff is pretty funny. I enjoy watching other posters go bonkers over your posts. However, I think you're getting a bit repetitive. Maybe weigh in a little less frequently or try a different angle.